A Moment of Hesitation
The moment right before you utter the breath that carries your personal, mental, physical and emotional state all at once. This is the point where you break. The weight of withholding no longer allows you to function as you once did. It is slowly crippling you. And just before the moment of ambivalent judgement places it’s unwanted message into your weary mind, you no longer care, because you are hurting. You have passed this moment of hesitation. You have pushed aside your reservations to relay these realizations to yourself. You must now accept what it is you feel, and only then will you understand what it means.
This is a body of work that speaks to the mental and emotional strain of mourning and realization.
Never Come To Terms
Memories fade without awareness. You subconsciously pick and choose what you want to remember, and when you begin to focus on specific aspects repeatedly, you allow yourself to forget other memories. I have allowed myself to get lost and fabricate a space filled with emotional memories that now functions as my current state. What you read and observe in these works are fragments of a lens that I observe our existence through. A state of only functioning and not interacting. A way of not allowing yourself to resolve. A breaking of your mental being. It is the realization of never coming to terms.
A Constant Reminder
This is a process. You are a process. Life is a process. One you will never quite understand and one you will be crippled and controlled by. You will come in and out of consciousness. You will break, you will stumble, you will meet an end, but you will never understand. Understanding that you are powerless may comfort you. It may terrify you, but the knowledge of this is all you will have. Fear this or cherish this, it is all you can do. Looking to the past holds your sorrows. Let that show you what it is you mean and let that be enough for you, because in the end you are alone.
We Are Similar
The piece is passive, but holds the notion of understanding. It is a piece that I could not have made without a mature understanding of how people interact in and with the world. It is meant to be simple and clear, but carry a weight of sadness because I know where it came from and I would not have made it without having experienced sadness in the form I did.
We are similar, everyone is. Though we try to separate ourselves, possibly even evaluate others based on difference, we all share similar experiences. Not to say that we have the same experiences, because no one will ever experience something in the exact same way as someone else, but rather, there are broader similarities among the experiences we have and that is how we can connect with each other.
They are not the same, but they are similar.